Family of God: [FamilyofGod] Re: FW: [Christian

--- In FamilyofGod@yahoogroups.com, Ruzel Atienza <zhel84@...> wrote:
>Ruzzel,From where are you? May I know? Nora.
>
> I hope you don't mind if i introduce myself...
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>
> ----- Original Message -----
> Subject: [Christian_Singles4U] zhel
> Date: Sat, 30 May 2009 7:08:56
> From: Ruzel Atienza <zhel84@...>
> To: Christian_Singles4U@yahoogroups.com <Christian_Singles4U@yahoogroups.com>
>
> Good day everyone in the group..
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> I've been a member of the group for almost two weeks but i haven't introduce myself publicly except at once when i ask for a prayer request.:)
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> Some members are sending me emails but i didn't reply most of the time, and for that, i'm sorry..
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> They ask more about me and to tell you honestly, i'm having a hard time to express myself and further tell them about me, especially my past.
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> Almost all my life i feel rejected by people around me. As a 6year old child, i acquire a muscular disease that made my neck stiff and my muscles out of control. People laugh at me (mostly kids of my age) . My friends avoid my company because they were shy when people took notice of my defect. I almost cry everytime they reject me.
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> Since i was 3, my parents came to know the Lord and i lived in a Christ-centered family. I'm a very happy kid with so many friends, going here and there, visiting places around the village playing games with different children. I also excel in school and so much confident about myself.
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> But after that incident and many rejections, i became very shy, loner, and afraid of seeing by people because i always expect them to laugh at me.
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> My heart is always in pain even as a child. I understood what i'm going through and i'm very depressed because of it. I lost my friends, my playmates, my confidence, even my childhood.
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> Maturity of the situation and the realization that no one will like me attack my brain and i saw things bad and my perspective became very negative.
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> I tried to understand the situation but its very hard. We visit the doctor and do so many examination but they don't figure what's wrong with me. They say it's characterized by Parkinson's disease and will eventually result in disfunction of my muscle and brain coordination.
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> But as a christian, my family didn't accept the disease and keep on praying for a miracle.
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> The doctors gave me lots of medicines that they don't know if those will work or not. I regularly visit the hospital and the doctors referred me to different specialist for examinations. I was like that for 7years. Inspite of what they say, we, as a family that believes in the real God, keep on praying until God reveals himself on me and i was moved by His touch. That time, even if people laugh at me, i slowly started a new life and go on outreaches for children in the streets. I devoted my life to Him and He finally hear our prayers and healed me.
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> That was my miracle and my forever testimony. Even if that is a bad experience, i see it a way to glorify God in my life. I let people know my miracle and be an encouragement to those who are hopeless. You know, that defect seems to be uncurable but God healed me.
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> During my teens, i became a new zhel, still a bit shy but i can handle myself and my personality became strong yet quiet and nerd type.
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> I thought there is no one to like me and love me as a lady but God have me 2guys that really accept me as i am. They became very special to me and they really cared for me and love me. Our breakup was very okay, both of them became my special friend even when the relationship ended.
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> The things that made me sad is when i knew my third boyfriend. He is non-christian which is not accepted by my faith. But i love him and choose him rather than the commandment of God. He influenced me very much and he became my focus. I did wrong things with him. I really became blind to see that what i'm doing is wrong. I didn't know how to get out of that relationship even if he changed how he treat me. He became the guy i didn't knew but i still love him. I know he loved someone but i choose to close my eyes from that fact. We broke up finally but i'm still imprisoned by my love for him. I really don't know what to do. I really don't know how to move on. I'm feeling very guilty with those things that i did in the past,
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> Two month ago, i woke up crying and yearning for God's presence to move on me but i receive no response. And then i found this group. I've been searching for persons to be an encouragement to me that there is life after that sinful past. Your conversations and sharing encourages me and sometimes i cry realizing how God loves me.
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> I really want to reply on every post and mail i am receiving from you but i'm just using my mobile which is difficult to use when posting. I hope you understand. I don't know how you guys will react on this post but i'm thankful that i am here. I'm not after searching for my soulmate but if God will give me, there's no reason to say no. But your friendship and encouragement are more important that searching for a partner.
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> I want to be your friends even if you were older than me. Thanks a lot for those who are willing to email me and offer friendship.
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> God bless the group.
> I love you.
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