RE: [Church_of_Christ] To: All readers
Greetings Clay,
Thank you for submitting your apology to me and to the list. It is greatly appreciated and is consistent with the man that I’ve come to know since you joined this group.
You are forgiven and had my forgiveness immediately upon reading the reactionary post. My request for the public apology was not for me. The intention was to elicit some introspection for you to consider which Clay was reacting vs. the Clay that thoughtfully responds. Your posting privileges have been restored.
The type of reaction to this topic suggests that there might some unresolved issues that could be explored to provide healing. I suspect this might part of the anger that rises up in you on this topic. I could be wrong and if so, that’s fine. If I am correct, then I would lovingly recommend that you seek some healing by processing these things with a professional counselor who can create a safe environment and help sort through these things.
You do not need to respond to any of these ideas and I prefer that you do not respond on the list. If you wish to discuss anything privately, I am willing to do so.
I am a survivor of sexual abuse perpetrated by a 13-year-old male on a 5-year-old male. I have made peace with this event that was outside of my control and perpetrated on me. I am not a homosexual, never have been. My sexual orientation has always been heterosexual. I do not hate the perpetrator and understand what directed those events. Interestingly, the perpetrator is not homosexual and there was no malice of intent. It is something that happened when parental supervision was absent and a 13-year-old male was experiencing puberty and sexual curiosity. I am also a survivor of rape. I was raped at gun-point by a 15-year-old female “babysitter” when I was 10-years-old at knife-point. This was repeated without the knife on several occasions after the first time, because that “babysitter” threatened to hurt my little sister if I told anyone and I believed her. Trying to be a protective “Big Brother” I did not tell and did what I was told to protect my sister. My mother sensed that something was wrong at some point and while I never told her and have not told her to this day, she did not use that particular “babysitter” again. It caused me some problems in life and while I had dealt with a great deal of the issues that affected me from that experience, it resurfaced in my professional training when I had a physical reaction to a presentation on adolescent sex offenders. What I realized and processed is that I cannot work with male or female adolescent sex offenders or victims of adolescent sex offenders. Not because I don’t believe that they deserve and should receive help. I cannot tolerate being traumatized again from listening to their experiences from either perspective. The events cause me to relive my own experience and it takes me to a place that is not good for me and would not provide the level of professional service that they deserve.
I know that what I have briefly shared is very personal and I do not share this information lightly. It is shared in order to let anyone who might read it that if they react to topics around these issues and those reactions are connected to childhood experiences, it is a warning to address them before they destroy many aspects of their lives and relationships.
It is not presented as a solicitation for sympathy or empathy and I would prefer that there be no discussion of it since that would be beyond the purpose of my sharing the information.
If my sharing strikes a chord, I encourage you to seek some help. If not, then I encourage you to keep it in mind when you encounter someone who has had such an experience.
I have forgiven the two individuals who sexually abused me and raped me. It was freeing and I while I have a physical response (I become nauseated) to therapeutic encounters, I bear no hatred or ill will to those people. They were victims themselves and I hope that they received the help that they needed as well.
Shalom,
Shawn
Clay wrote to me and to the group members:
I want to publicly apologize to Shawn and all of you for being so frustrated that
I allowed my anger to guide me instead of God's Holy Spirit.
Sins of the flesh, or human weaknesses are so easy to fall victim too
and that is exactly what I did. Please forgive me.
We don't want to see you go, but if you must, the address is Church_of_Christ-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
Post a Comment