Family of God: Re: [FamilyofGod] Boundries

Amen, thanks a lot you are so right. We have a lot in common my father died when I was just a baby I grew up without a father in the home. But I thank God that The Lord was with my mother and her little children. Take care and God bless.

Lora

From: sweetlady <blpittenger@hvc.rr.com>
To: FamilyofGod@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, September 30, 2009 11:15:26 AM
Subject: Re: [FamilyofGod] Boundries

Lora even though you have a small group of people who care that is better then none. I have no one. Well my sons care but they are strapped with alot of responsiblity with families. They have no time for me. They are not living for the Lord either. My so called friends abandon me when I started the divorce. As it was too stressfull for them to deal with. Mind you these are the same friends who told me all along to leave my ex. So when I finally do they all run. My family is caught up in me me me living. They used me and abused me so I had to say enough is enough. I backed away from them. So I am all alone but I have Jesus. Best friend and Daddy i ever had. My dad was murdered before I was born so I never got too meet him. I know he would have loved me. He loved The Lord very much. Anyway just wanted to share that when we think its bad there is always someone who has it worse. I am hoping with the new church I am attending to meet and make some lasting real friends who are there through thick and thin ups and downs. I also have my new online friends here at fog.

I can't even think of one person to call to help me move. I helped so many people move its not even funny. There are givers and there are takers. Takers always seem to zone in and take advantage of givers. But hopefully with the knowledge of boundries I will not let that happen anymore. Even though its lonely when you set up boundries and limits and don't say yes just to make and keep friends.

Bonnie

1 Corinthians ch 13 vr 4-7

What love is
4. Love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily anger, and keeps no record of wrongs.
6.Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth.
7, It always protects, it alwasy trusts, it always protects, and always preserves.

----- Original Message -----

From: Lora Dozier

To: FamilyofGod@ yahoogroups. com

Sent: Wednesday, September 30, 2009 9:17 AM

Subject: Re: [FamilyofGod] Boundries

Praise the Lord, this is so true. I am going through this right now from February 2008 until now I have had three surgeries I feel as though the only friends that I had is God , the prayer ministry a couple of friends and a few of my family members. I have to travel 158.4 miles round tip to see my doctor and I am charged an arm and a leg and a foot by someone who say that they are a christian and that they love to help people. This person knows that I have been off work every since 2008 and have a very limited income. I know that gas has gone up but what has happened to benevolences? I always have found myself giving until I didn't have anything else to give now that I am going through my tough seasons the same people that I helped and rode them free of charge is robbing me blind. Most people never remember the good deeds that others have done when they are living up on the high hog. It is ok because I know that God sees everything and I have to be patient and wait on Him to make a difference in my situation. Be encouraged,

Evangelist Dozier

From: sweetlady <blpittenger@ hvc.rr.com>
To: FamilyofGod@ yahoogroups. com
Sent: Wednesday, September 30, 2009 6:01:52 AM
Subject: [FamilyofGod] Boundries

I went to the tues night Christian singles meeting last night and the speaker was a pastor from another church who also teaches at a collage. He was teaching from the book on Boundries. He also had a film that showed people who didn't know how to to use boundries. Little skits and he paused after each to discuss them.

It was very helpful for alot of us. It so easy as Christians to get caught up in the servent role and not know how to say no. People who are users will drain us dry and then we are not good to anyone. But the blame is also on the one helping the user. We have to learn to say no. Learn to comunicate and not let things get out of hand.

I am a giver so its hard for me to say no. But little by little I am learning that in order for me to be the best for Jesus I have to be able to say no sometimes as its good for my well being. We all need time for ourselves to rest, restore, and recharge ourselves. Even Jesus did. So if he did then we certainly need to be able to make boundries so we protect ourselves from being tapped out.

My ex was a user but I inabled him by complying with every thing he wanted and needless to say I was completely drained physically emotionally and spiritually. I eventually had no more to give. The more he berated me the more I did for him and it was never enough.

Now I am learning to be stronger and wiser.

Most people who are givers are afraid people won't like them if they don't give and give and give. Well truthfully if these people, friends, family etc keep using you then they are not really the kind of friends you need.

We can forgive them and let go of the resentments but that does not mean we keep letting them do it to us over and over again. Its important to not put ourselves in situations where people can take advantage of us.

I have several friends, and family that if I did not do everything they asked they would not have anything to do with me. So I stopped being their emotional and physical bank too draw from and surprisingly they don't have anything to do with me anymore. So that tells me they just used me.

SO now I am more causious and want to make better choices in the kind of friends that are real not users.

Bonnie