Experiential Truths of Spiritual Warfare

The paradoxical truth concerning masturbation as discovered through prayer

Posted: 12 May 2010 03:10 PM PDT

I mentioned in my last blog that I had come to a point in my walk of faith where I began to feel condemnation when reading certain elements of the law in the epistles. In Matthew and Romans, certain legal issues concerning sexual sins appear in the text from old covenant regulations on lust impurity, fornication and sexual immorality.

I discovered that the secret sexual sins which I had thought to be not sinful, were actually sinful because these texts were condemning me when I read them. That just proves how deceitful the human heart can be! Then I discovered that the law is supposed to make us aware of sin. When the law in scripture condemns us, it is because we are being made conscious of sin. (Rom 3:20) At first I was perplexed, because the gospels were not making me feel as condemned, but the legal elements of Romans and other epistles were making me feel extremely condemned, such that I began to fear judgment.

That led to me going through an extremely difficult phase where I started to test the truth by observing what was going in in the spirit.

First I declared that masturbation wasn't a sin and then walked in faith for a length of time until my deliverance began to slow down and my spirit began to feel weighted and bound up inside.

I was left standing on a point which I felt was correct, yet I was not going anywhere in the spirit. Then I discovered one of Paul's teachings in 1 John 5:17, which states that "there is a sin which does not lead to death, not that we should pray into it". Well in a desperate effort to cling to my life-long habit I declared that masturbation was in effect the sin which does not lead to death and I stood on that point while walking in faith and for a further length of time. Eventually my deliverance slowed down again and I was back to square one, with no movement in the spirit. My spirit, normally moving during sleep, began to slow down until I had dreams where there was no longer any observable deliverance and I felt that I was no longer "walking in the spirit".

At this point in my walk of faith I began to despair, thinking that I had committed some unpardonable sin. There must be other Christians who have felt like this at times.

As a last ditch attempt to cling to my sins I began to declare "masturbation is a sin" for half the night and then declare that "masturbation is not a sin" for half the night, observing the results in the spirit. This went on for weeks, chiefly because of this growing condemnation I felt from hearing Satan's voice saying over and over again. "After the truth is known, no forgiveness of sins is left, just a fiery expectation of judgment". This was the devil at his most foul, using the law to bring condemnation and massive guilt on me, wrenching scripture out of context. Eventually I reluctantly conceded that masturbation was indeed a sin and made a heartfelt repentance, vowing never to do the act again. Wishful thinking!

I was so concerned about this spiritual sin in my life that I eventually went to a psychiatrist for a prescription of Prozac which I hoped would dull my libido. Yes, the Prozac did work well in case you are wondering, but ultimately strange things began happening to me in the spirit which could only be the work of this awful drug. It seems to have the capacity to dull the spiritual life within, which makes it potentially harmful for those who are trying to overcome spiritually inflicted illnesses, through faith. Not saying you shouldn't take it, only don't let it blot out your dream life.

Unfortunately this was not to be the end of my woes. Shortly after relieving myself later that same week after which I repented and confessed my sins, I committed the sin again to my disgust. I broke down and admitted to God that I felt I was heading for hell and judgment because I couldn't seem to stop, even with the help of Prozac and stronghold prayers. I also confessed to God that I was using masturbation as a facility to ease hurts and emotional wounds. Anyway I kept asking for forgiveness for this sin every time I did it, until eventually I began to realize that God was continuing to deliver me and that I began to feel better and better even with the regular sinning. How can this be possible, I thought to myself.

This may come as very confusing to some of you reading this post, but I can assure you that I have been praying diligently into understanding masturbation from a spiritual perspective since the start of 2010. I was committing this sin every four or five days and asking forgiveness and I was beginning to feel and improvement in well-being, without the guilt or condemnation. Here is what God put into my heart to reveal about this sin:

1. We are Christians now living under grace, no longer under law. Legal aspects of scripture is meant to expose our sins to us as sin so that we know that we have indeed sinned, but grace is extended to us through our faith.

2. According to Rom 5:2, we have access to grace through faith and as we know, faith comes by hearing the word. Keeping the precepts and ordinances of God means reading the word daily. This means that for those who truly keep the faith of Jesus by remaining daily in the word, freedoms are extended to us through grace as long as faith is maintained. To those who stop reading the word daily, it means they are no longer keeping the precepts and ordinances of God, so their access to forgiveness of sins STOPS. If we fall out of faith, we can no longer receive grace and come under condemnation because it means we have essentially become apostate (we renounce our adherence to faith). It also means that for those who choose church attendance over keeping the faith, no forgiveness of sins is possible, because grace cannot be extended. Scripturally it means that church-goers who abide not in the word, can never receive restoration from God and consequently they can never be saved. This will hopefully come as a big wake up call for Christians who prefer church-going to keeping the faith.

3. Jesus Christ came to usher in the new covenant which brought an end to the curse of the law. The curse of the law was death to all men living by the law's commands. Jesus Christ came to be a curse for us, so that the righteous requirements of the law could be fully met in us who are living under grace. He was the perfect sacrifice which the law required. This means that before the arrival of Jesus, the righteous requirements of the law could not have been fully met in people living by them. Jesus Christ met the righteous requirements of the law and so took on our sins so that by faith those righteous requirements could be met in us today. By knowing no sin, he brought the righteous requirement of the law to fulfillment in himself. He took our sins upon himself so that we too could be saved, healed and receive the blessings of immortality and not face damnation.

This is essentially the role and function of God's high-priesthood – to make atonement for their own sins by walking in the faith of Jesus Christ and then to perform the rite of forgiveness of sins so that others may be sanctified or consecrated to God. You will notice that the righteousness which is by faith, was first credited to Abraham and this in Old Testament times. This is interesting because it proves that Jesus was not the first man who was without sins. Abraham in Rom 4:16 and Heb 11:12 was as good as dead because of his sins, but his faith was credited to him as righteousness.

One of the incredible observations made by Paul, with regard to sin living in his soul was this: That if we know something is sinful and we know it's wrong and want to stop, but keep on doing it, then it is not us committing the sin but sin already living in us which is responsible. He says, "the good I want to do, this I don't do, but the evil I don't want to do, this I keep on doing...Thanks be to Jesus Christ our Lord who rescues us from this body of death!" The faith of Jesus Christ permits the sinful man to keep on committing certain sins which flare up when the law begins to convict him that the act he is doing is sinful. Unfortunately, this freedom is ONLY EXTENDED to those who are walking in faith towards the GOAL of SALVATION and SINLESSNESS. It is not a license to carry on sinning indefinitely. Paul's words hint at masturbation being the sinful passion he observed. It's easy to stop drinking by not allowing oneself to go near a bar and get drunk. It's very hard to stop masturbating because ones hands are always near the equipment so to speak.

Paul said that it was better to marry than to burn with lust. Well, getting married to burn off lust is not something we should be doing either, so God is gracious to us through our godliness displayed by our faith, not merely through belief, so that justification is possible even after many sins (Rom 5:16). This is the abundant provision of grace revealed in Rom 5:17 and extended to each one of us who emulate the faith of Jesus Christ. Help for the sinner so that no one may perish, but come to repentance and receive forgiveness and attain holiness and glorification of their souls.

4. Another question which came to me on this subject was this:
If there are health benefits which come from lawful sexual union, why would God allow those health benefits to be enjoyed exclusively by males and females participating in that union? Why would single people be denied those benefits? In accordance with Paul's teaching it is better for a man to remain single if they want to serve God. This is because men who marry, end up with divided loyalties. They end up pleasing their wives not God. Well why would a person want to serve God, if the blessings of God meant absolute chastity and a lack of those marital health benefits? I mean you would almost have to be a masochist to want to serve God in that case and it paints a picture of a God verging on the cruel.

Now you are probably saying, "but what about the lusts of the flesh which we are to crucify and put off". On that, I would like you to consider something else:

Human spirituality is much more than skin deep!
All throughout history there have been recorded incidents of men and woman having dreams where there is sexual activity and interaction in those dreams. Incubus and succubus are the common terms for evil spirits who seduce the spirits of men and woman in dreams. From the occurrence of these dreams we know that incubus seduce women in dreams and succubus seduce men. They are not seducing our flesh, they are seducing our spirit men, or our dream bodies! One might say that evil spirits have sexual identities, either male or female. Our spirit men also have sexual identities.

In the beginning God made our spirits. He made them male and female. We know that before God made the earth, we were with God in the beginning as spirit/souls and that only when the Earth was created, was there a need for earthly bodies of flesh to fit those souls. The spirit came first, then the flesh was conceived in the womb. The spirit provides the vitality or energetic essence of the human corpus. What does James 2:26 say, "the flesh without the spirit is dead"!

From this, we can can reason that sexuality goes to the heart or spirit of man and is not simply a function of the flesh. Sexual arousal requires an image or a picture in the brain as well as an emotional sensual feeling in the soul. No person is aroused solely by manipulation of the flesh. The bible warns that we must not fulfill the lusts of the flesh, but what if the lust is there because there is a desire of the the spirit. What if the desire in the spirit is actually there because we are sin-full? What if the desires of the spirit which trigger the lusts of the flesh fade away once we are without sin. What if those made holy are no longer lustful or prone to sinful passions. What freedom!

When we have good sex, it feels intensely fulfilling not only on a physical level, but also on an emotional (soul) level and also on a spiritual level. Sex is divinely ordained by God to be performed within a marriage union, not by oneself. However, when you have sex your very self feels good and your innermost being is revitalized. The flesh is therefore not the only thing which is gratified, but your mind and your emotional and spiritual needs are met.

Many people who engage in masturbation would probably agree that regular masturbation prevents them from indulging in one-night stands and sexual liaisons which could otherwise lead to health risks, unwanted pregnancies, emotional abuse, hurt and rejection. Would it not be more emotionally mature for people if they could enjoy their own sexuality. Wouldn't there be fewer pregnancies if people were less preoccupied with one-night stands? Also, the natural semen cycle in the body is usually a seven day event for most men and that cycle has been established by God who designed the body. Also, I am thinking now of the Catholic church and it's condemnation of masturbation. Surely allowing priests to masturbate would relieve sexual frustration and help keep them from damaging innocent and vulnerable children. Wouldn't there be fewer pregnancies if people were less sexually frustrated?

Do you desire to fulfill your own sexual needs by gratification of those needs with the body of another? I would say that choice is a morally less desirable option and would amount to lust and fornication if it was to relieve the natural urges.

One of the things which Paul would have learned from Jesus, was that ascetic practices were of no value spiritually. Religious severity to the flesh amounts to living to the letter of the law. If you live according to the law you in effect submit yourself to decrees like "do not handle, do not taste, do not touch", Col 2:21-22. If you look at chastity vs celibacy, you will notice that chastity is an ascetic practice because it interrupts the body's natural semen cycle. Celibacy is spiritually more valuable, because it allows solo sex and provides the flesh with the physical health benefits of sex. I would go as far as to say that those who forbid themselves masturbation are living ascetically by abstaining from acts which are of value spiritually.

I would say that desire to fulfill ones own sexual needs using ones own capabilities through masturbation is more an activity of self-nurturing rather than self-abuse. When I masturbate I feel much better and I enjoy it. If I deny the urge I feel disconnected from myself – my self is not my flesh. My self is my spirit! Don't simply decide to get married because you are lusting. Consider that masturbation is a viable alternative if you are in the faith, because God's grace covers these sins.

Related to this topic, is the thing we utter at the point of orgasm. I can't speak for any readers, but when I orgasm it usually ends in "oh God". Surely this utterance from our lips comes from a deeper place than the flesh? What if God brought this to our lips at the point of orgasm because it reminds us of our connection to him and gives us a substitute for not being in his direct presence due to our fallen condition? What if by the glorification of our souls, we would no longer have need for the sin of masturbation because the desire of our souls would be fully replete in his all-consuming presence. What I am saying, is that for the saints who are truly saved and therefore spiritually glorified, the need and desire for masturbation might fall away because the soul's inner longing is provided for - being at rest in God's spiritual presence, in the heavenly realms and not in the fallen realms.

What I am ultimately saying, is that if men and women in the word of God abstain from masturbation, then according to Rom 4:14 they are living by the letter of the law and their faith is of NO VALUE. It is as if they were under a curse, because the law brings death. I would go as far as to say that they are health deprived.

We died to the law through the body of Christ, that we might belong to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God. For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions which were aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death....we have been released from law so that we serve in the new way of the spirit, Rom 7:6.

This means that when the law in the word of God makes us conscious of our sin, the sinful passions in us suddenly become aroused by the law. Now the legal commandment that was supposed to bring us life, actually brings us death because the sin in us suddenly begins to arouse our passions, leading us further and further into more sinning. This is where grace comes in to help us in our weakness and to reveal to us that the sin or evil living in us is actually utterly evil.(Rom 7:13) The more we try to stop sinning, the more we are actually sin. This allows us to further deepen our faith and allegiance to God, so that we can move from imperfection to the goal of the faith which is perfection of the soul.

What I want to advise is this: DO NOT confess something as a sin UNLESS you are 100% sure that it actually is. Most people feel the accusations and condemnations of the evil one working in them and they forget about their conscience. This is where discernment comes in. Feeling guilty does guarantee that you are actually guilty. If the Word of God is not judging you when you read it, then it's likely you are not condemned and so have not committed any sin. Don't buckle under the pressure of feelings thinking it will be a relief for you when you confess. If you are not guilty of sin and confess it, you give grounds to Satanic attacks on your soul which will eventually bring you into oppression heaviness of spirit and no more confessing will make you feel better. Be ye not deceived - the holy spirit will patiently begin convicting a man of his sins through the Word, but Satan will bring feelings of condemnation and guilt through the presence of sin already in the soul.

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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Experiential Truths of Spiritual Warfare

Experiential Truths of Spiritual Warfare

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