Modern March | a Christian blog

Posted: 22 May 2010 11:35 AM PDT

I spend a lot of time reflecting back on my past.

The things I did. The people I hurt. Irreversible mistakes I made.

A long, wicked 21 years spent running away from a God and a Savior who could have given me true freedom. A God who literally dragged me to the baptism pool at 14 without me even realizing the life change that was about to occur. A God who either cried or fumed (or both) when I spent six more years ignoring Him with my heart, shaming Him with my lifestyle, yet still professing His name with my lips (thanks for the reminder DC Talk).

I have spent so much of my life regretting it. I look back wondering why I deserted both of my parents and tried to make it on my own at 16. I lived at a few friends houses, bought things I could never end up paying for, spent time with girls I never cared to spend time with, drank beer until 3 a.m. and then went to church hung over and completely unable to pay attention. If I met my 18-year-old self, I’d probably dropkick him.

I know why I did it, though. I was selfish. It was the easy way out. Following Christ isn’t easy all the time, anyone can tell you that; so I stayed away from Him, running as fast as I could.

Then, in the summer of 2007, I heard a sermon by Matt Chandler.

The sermon was from a series on the Book of Ecclesiastes. All through the book, Solomon does everything he can think of that people consider “fun” and “meaningful:”

Epic parties.

The best food and drink.

Tons of sex.

Lives in a mansion.

Lives with the homeless.

Builds houses with his bare hands.

Does absolutely nothing.

Solomon continually uses the term “meaningless” in describing all of the things that he does. After he has seen everything, heard everything, smelled everything, tasted everything, and experienced everything, here is what he finally decides:

Ecclesiastes 12:13 - Now all has been heard; there is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.

After all Solomon did, he decides that the only thing that should matter to a man is God. Seeing the world this way caused a shift in my thinking that has never been the same. With this verse, God pulled me in like a fish on a hook… flailing and fighting, but unable to pull away.

Thank God for His relentless, faithful, never ending grace.

Filed under: Testimony