Family~Ok...its time again, vent!!! Alot of u have known me for awhile, u know since i joined fog ive had pain and im an addict.Well, its just gotton worse for me. I juz detoxed off 125 mcg of fentanyl being delivered every hour to my body from a patch, the pain is so severe i got a blade in the bathtub(so i wouldnt bleed all over the floor and leave a mess) and thought of ending my life, in 2004 i almost did. The docters say they do not know how i survived an overdose as large as i took. I was in icu for a week tubes everywhere and full life support. WHY? WHY AM I HERE?????? This sux. Well, here i am back on the pain meds cuz i cant take the pain, i may actually need surgery cuz my backs curving pretty bad from kyphosis/scoliosis. Bryan and i , the relationship is failing after 7 years, b 4 that we were together 2 1/2 years.He saved me from the streets where i was a call grrl/prostitute for 7 years i lived on the streets, doing drugs such as, heroin, cocaine, meth,alchol, im so ashamed....how awful i was a whore. I betcha the people that havent known me for long, this is blowing yur minds? Shoot, i have alot more to confess, but that, is for jesus ears only. I hope i never do go psychotic again and do kill myself, cuz im fightin hard to live here only to not go to hell, and to be with my king, my love, jesus~ShelleyGlitter
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