Family of God: Re: [FamilyofGod] Contingency Plans: How to actually keep a New Year's Resolution!!

Wow thanx for that info Amanda

On Thu Dec 30th, 2010 11:18 AM EST Wanda Ward wrote:

>the more specific you are the more you will work for the outcome.
> GOD IS LOVE
>wanda
>Prov.28:13- he that covereth his sin shall not prosper, but whoso confesseth and
>forsaketh them , shall have mercy.
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>________________________________
>From: Amanda Webster-Sibal <oneoddduck3@yahoo.com>
>To: FOG <familyofgod@yahoogroups.com>
>Sent: Wed, December 29, 2010 10:44:34 PM
>Subject: [FamilyofGod] Contingency Plans: How to actually keep a New Year's
>Resolution!!
>
>
>Many people find it difficult keeping New Year's Resolutions. As we are looking
>at the end of this year and looking behind us to see all that has happened, many
>people look at ways to better oneself in some way or another. Some want to lose
>weight, quit smoking, eat better, or other things that we deem as "healthy".
> Others want to better themselves by keeping a better attitude -- reducing
>stress, reducing anger, and so on. Others that are religious or spiritual in
>some way, wish to become more serious about whatever path they have chosen.
> But, why is it that such a HIGH percentage of people that make the resolutions
>cannot seem to keep them? Actually, the reason is very simple -- it's how we
>write the goals and define them. Often, people will make vague goals -- "I want
>to lose weight." But that doesn't say how someone will do that. It doesn't say
>how MUCH weight is being lost. Here's another -- "I want to eat better." What
>is that? Not defining a goal is almost a recipe for failure. So, first step --
>DEFINE YOUR GOAL. Because it is a common one -- I am using losing weight as an
>example. This can of course be substituted for ANY goal that you want to
>achieve. Also, it never has to be only the New Year. We can make goals each
>day. In fact, we need to open to redefining things when a goal seems
>unattainable. It doesn't mean that we don't work harder. It means we just
>redefine things a little.
>
>So -- Define the goal. More specifically, define the LONG TERM goal. Or, also
>known as, the final goal or the final outcome you want to achieve. Rather than
>being vague -- define actually what you want to do. To do this -- remember the
>following equation.
>
>Goal = Behavior + Frequency/Intensity + Time
>
>In other words, here is a good example -- I want to 50 pounds by the end of this
>year.
>Another example -- I want to read 1 chapter in my Bible each day.
>Or --- I want to quit smoking by March 31st.
>OR -- I want to exercise 4 times a week for 45 minutes each session (or for 45
>minutes total in a day - i.e. sessions can be broken up in a day for time
>reasons).
>
>Remember -- Behavior (like lose weight) + Frequency/Intensity/Amount (like
>pounds) + Time (your deadline in a way or the "how often" this will happen)
>
>Okay, got your goal? Let's move forward -- The next step is always the hardest
>-- what is your plan? In this you will have to create "in between" goals. It
>is hard for some people because we look at the enormity of our goal and figure
>"Nope -- no way I can finish that one. I messed up a couple times. I am just
>going to quit. Try again next year!!" In reality, we have a tendency to only
>make a single goal and we never bother to stop and offer ourselves a pat on the
>back. We forget to look at the progress we have made and ONLY look at how far
>we are from our final goal. So, what are good in between goals? Easy -- they
>are your stepping stones. Examples --
>
>I will lose 2-3 pounds per week. (that is a healthy weight loss per week by the
>way).
>I will cut my 2 pack a day cigarette habit down to 1 pack by the end of January.
> By the end of Feb., I will cut that in half into 1/2 a pack. By the end of
>March, I will be finished smoking.
>I will start out reading a total of half a chapter every three days (or 1/3rd a
>chapter each day) for 4 weeks. After 4 weeks, I will increase to 1/2 a chapter
>a day (1 total chapter every other day). After another 4 weeks (2 months), I
>will read 2/3rds of a chapter each day (a little over 4 chapters in a week).
> After another 4 weeks, I will increase that to a whole chapter a day. (If you
>then want to go MORE than that -- go for it -- but remember -- don't increase
>too fast too soon or you WILL burn out).
>
>That burn out rule applies to any goal. If I wanted to lose weight, and I made
>a goal to lose 10 pounds a week (very unhealthy and extremely hard), then after
>a week I will be frustrated and quit.
>If I wanted to eventually read 3 chapters in my Bible a day, and I immediately
>started out with that (if I haven't had an already everyday reading habit in
>place), then I will quickly get mad at myself if I miss a single day of that.
>The same can be said for ANYTHING. If you smoke and have EVER tried quitting
>cold turkey, you know how hard that is.
>
>If you want to reduce a habit, then reduce it slowly and you have a higher
>chance of succeeding. If you want to increase something, then do it slowly.
> You will better have a chance of making it a habit for LIFE - not just a couple
>months.
>
>Now -- define your plan a little better once you come up with good in between
>goals. Your number of in between goals WILL vary. Make sure they are
>attainable and they make sense. If they deal with your health, make sure they
>are healthy. If you have health problems, talk to a doctor. It is important
>not to put yourself in danger. So, make a plan for how you will do this.
>
>I will lose weight by following (This is actually straight from a contingency
>plan I made up a while back)
>
>o   Exercise
>§ Exercise will be done 6 days out of the week. MWF will be days for aerobic
>exercise for up to an hour including the following:
>·      Walking the Ladiga Trail (A trail near me when I wrote this) up to 3-4
>miles
>·      Riding exercise bike
>·      Exercise DVDs
>·     Wii Fit
>·      Tennis
>§ T/Th will be devoted to anaerobic exercise for 30-40 minutes including the
>following:
>·      Weight Lifting
>·      Ab workouts
>·      Lunges/Squats
>·      Yoga
>·      Stretching exercises for flexibility
>§ Saturday will be a combination of both types of exercise for up to an hour.
>Sunday will be a day of rest in more ways than one.
>o   Diet
>§ The diet will be an 1800-calorie a day exchange diet given to me by a
>dietician. It is an ADA (American Diabetics Association) approved diet
>including low carb intake and more fruits and veggies.
>
>
>Plan things out carefully -- If you have a way to do this, again, your goal
>won't seem as vague.
>
>Next -- come up with reinforcers and punishers. Our behavior is best altered by
>using reinforcers and punishers. A reinforcer is defined as something that
>increases the likelihood that a behavior will occur again. Something isn't named
>a reinforcer UNTIL it has that effect of increasing the behavior. A punished
>decreases the behavior - but is only named as such after it has shown to
>actually have that effect of decreasing the behavior. Some common things used as
>punishers really aren't all the time. If a child hits their sibling and is
>spanked as punishment, but the behavior INCREASES - the spanking isn't a
>punished. Oddly, it would be called a reinforcer.
>
>So, come up with a reinforcer for each of your in between goals. Also, come up
>with punishers and what behavior causes you to get that punisher. For example,
>if I miss exercise for X number of days in a row (unless due to sickness), then
>I will do X as a punisher. Do NOT use extreme amounts of the behavior you want
>to change in order to punish yourself. I mean to say -- if you miss exercise
>(or reading your Bible) for 2 days in a row, don't make yourself exercise an
>extra 2 hours for punishment. That's nutty -- and it will turn the BEHAVIOR you
>want to make a habit into punishment. Not a good idea. Some people use money
>as punishers -- as in giving it away. I know someone that was quitting smoking.
> He was also a pretty serious conservative and hated the ACLU and EVERYTHING it
>stood for. So -- if he smoked more than his cut off amount for his in between
>goal -- or smoked at all during the period he had FINALLY quit -- his punisher?
> donating money to the ACLU. He made the contingency plan with a friend there
>to make him accountable. To say the least -- it kept him in line. He no more
>wanted to give up on quitting than he did wanted to donate to an evil
>organization in his mind.
>
>Reinforcers can be ANYTHING that you wish to WORK for. Maybe you want to go on
>a trip at the end of your final goal. Maybe a good in between goal reinforcer
>for losing weight would be a nice new pair of pants (after all it is also a need
>lol). Make reinforcers that make sense and will be things you want to work for.
>
>
>Now -- when you have come up with all this -- if you look back at it. You have
>a FULL plan to actually make your goals attainable!! Now, last part -- type it
>up or write it up and sign it, date it, and show it to a friend that will keep
>you accountable. Last -- get to work!!
>
>I really hope this helps someone.
> Amanda
>
>There is an optimistic belief widespread among the generous-hearted that the
>average human being has only to become sufficiently acquainted with another's
>trouble or danger to transfer it to his own shoulders not merely unhesitatingly
>but gladly. --Margery Allingham
>
>Bear one another's burdens. Galatians 6:2
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